Top Ten Tips for Keeping your Sanity

Top 10 tips for keeping your sanity

1 Dwell on positives rather than negatives.

Life happens. It how we respond to challenges that define us, if you focus on negatives they gain energy and become who you are.

Event x Reaction= Outcome

If we can learn to control our reactions we feel, we can influence the Outcome.

2 Appreciate who you are as a person.

Most people are really conscious of how others might perceive them. In fact the number of people who assume powers of mindreading is startling!

Why not get to know and feel good about yourself rather than compare yourself to the sometimes impossible comparative images our mind sets up!

3 Let go of the past you can’t change it.

People dwell too much on the past, you cannot change what has already happened, we also spend a lot of time wasting energy on future problems that might never happen! We worry too much about things we imagine or that which we cannot control. This becomes baggage ….like metaphorically filling a rucksack full of life’s baggage, it gets heavier and heavier until we can bare it no longer. Don’t worry about those things you can’t control.

4 Don’t become a part of someone else’s story.

People own their view of the world, it is so easy to get drawn into the worries and problems of others. By all means sympathise but when you empathise you take on board the angst of others and  become part of their story (emotions that did not even belong to you!) sharing problems is good, but learn not to own them.

5 Do not say yes when you mean no.

Have a vocab to say ‘no’, be honest with yourself.

6 Enjoy, laugh and smile!

We become our emotions. Our bodies are chemical factories that respond to external stimuli. By physically smiling more and/or laughing you release the following chemicals: Dopamine, oxytocin and endorphin levels in the human body (some people pay a lot for these drugs!)

7 Seek and hold onto friends

Whether you like the idea or not, people need people. Interaction with friends has been proven to aid longevity; find good friends and hold onto them.

8 Be present in the now.

Find a passion; think what defines you and makes you interesting to yourself, learn something new and take time to be in the ‘Now’ even if you are simply walking your dog…

Make sure you see the good things as well as the self-critical. (The lessons of Mindfulness are worth taking notice of.)

9 Recognise that:

85% of peoples’ perceptions come from how we look and present ourselves, only 15% of what we communicate is through what we say, learn to act, dress the part, play the part… as Shakespeare once stated ‘The world is a stage and we are all merely actors…. Very true… enjoy!

10 Be conscious of the language we use and seek to explore the impact of its varied use….

The words (and patterns of words) we use, control our thoughts and feelings.  By using the correct language we can influence both ourselves and others. Sales people use such techniques to hook you in…..(pattern of three).

And finally remember:

Retention and Recruitment

When the HMI informed the surrounding headteachers that OFSTED had been given the task of investigating teacher retention and issues with recruitment, she didn’t smile and apparently failed to see the irony of the announcement. Nobody said anything due mainly the possibility of reprisals.

I have worked with many teachers, my favourites are those that see their job as both a passion and vocation. As a parent, these are the type of people I want my own children to encounter and be enthused by. There is however an incompatibility with the modern system and my worry is that genuine teachers will either be driven out of the profession, or become so emotionally upset that they have to quit. Why do they get upset? Well the reason is that they care too much.

When we value what we measure rather than measure what we value, beliefs and passions are relegated to the scrap heap. The question is: Can you teach something when you know it is of little value to the pupil? If it is worthless and feels pointless, can you pursue someone else’s aspirations when you don’t believe in what you have been asked to do? I would argue that if you are a child centred educator the process would be like chewing tin foil.

‘Bean counting’ is one thing, but when it dominates every thing we do,say and deliver it becomes too much for many teachers or leaders to take.

We are haemorrhaging staff because the atmosphere of apparent accountability is toxic and sour to taste. People have never minded being judged, but it helps to be involved in the conversation. Dialogue only works if it is a two way process.

Skip Rat 89: A Teacher’s Story

They had nicknamed me the ‘Skip Rat’ ; it was however a term of endearment and to some extent pity, as the young teacher foraged through the throw away card and paper of the local supermarket skip . The luminous arrows and price discount posters were ideal for classroom displays and artwork. I didn’t of course know any different and enjoyed the banter with the supermarket staff who started to keep me all the ‘specials displays.’ It never occurred to me that such need was a sad reflection on political priorities, it was all I knew, schools and teachers had a philosophy of ‘make do and mend.

There wasn’t really an alternative, I believed passionately that I wanted to be the best teacher possible, and saw my ideas and enthusiasm as my number one resource.

Fast forward 30 years; history has taught me the power of investment, with a peak in the early part of this century to within the last 10 years, a gradual decline. Teachers and leaders have effectively become social workers, mental health experts (mmm?) for families and children ; every undesirable aspect of societies problems being neatly added to the existing burdens of education.

You can’t find societal cures in a skip outside a supermarket; the difference is, there is now a shortage of funding to the detriment of education, but the same outcomes (and more) as in the glory years are expected throughout. As an enthusiastic Skip Rat I always did my best, but was free from bean counters, obscure measurements and the threat of job loss if my pupils didn’t make ‘linear’ appropriate progress. 

I prided myself on the wide curriculum I offered  and the acquired skills of those pupils that left my class. Pupils deserve the best we have to offer. As a leader, I want teachers focused on teaching, they should not have to beg for resources, they shouldn’t have to supplement and replace many aspects of social services. We are educating future generations, it is a mistake and an insult from the powers that be, not even to admit there is an issue. Austerity has not ended, I see it everyday……

Can schools cure society?

Schools are held accountable for most of societies ailments (an ever increasing list). Not a day passes where we are again asked to take responsibility for yet another aspect of life that is going wrong.

Schools can make huge contributions to society, but with the increased notion of an ever ‘narrowing of the curriculum’ (easier to succeed if you influence what you measure) those that need most are more likely to gain less. We value what we measure, we don’t measure what we value…. when things go wrong schools are inevitably told to narrow what they do and to ‘make sure the stats are right.’

When you look at Ofsted outcomes they mainly chart the fact that you are more likely to succeed if you go to a school in an affluent area:

with that in mind the more deprived the school the narrower the curriculum will more likely to be in order to keep the wolves at bay.

If we are to influence the attitudes of our future societal members we have to offer alternatives that parents sometimes are unable to offer themselves.

Whilst curriculum is effectively being strangled by our current regime of false accountability the current state of the nation means: The more affluent you are the broader the curriculum you are likely to receive.

If we are to help cure the issues of society it seems common sense to direct help towards where it is needed most. Curriculum should reflect context and be a vehicle for offering what is needed, a means of empowerment.

It seems clear that our nation’s media and politicians want us to champion every aspect of childhood; to some extent I believe that schools should reflect societal need, we do however need the flexibility and tools to offer solutions where the need is most… at the moment our hands are tied.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness Oxford University have undertaken a lot of research with regards to this, with chief advocates being celebrities such as Ruby Wax who I believe has studied for a degree with them. She seems to have certainly found that it works for her! Check out her Youtube presentation (very human review of mental health). Mindfulness is all about the inner self and state of ‘Being.’ The argument goes that we spend the majority of our time ‘doing things’ but that we rarely exist in the current moment, the ‘now.’ Through focused meditation/ thought we can learn to live more in the current moment, we can also learn that we can’t change the past, and we can only influence the future…

Mindfulness is closely related to Buddhist teachings. It helps people process life and teaches them not to dwell on thoughts that can damage our health. It also teaches us that perception varies. It has been proven to make people healthier and most certainly happier. The very nature of it means it is hard to get the practices wrong.

It is a definite way of quantifying thinking and the issues thinking can create. ‘Neural plasticity’ means we can change at anytime, the meditations certainly make you feel calm. Our minds have the power to make us feel fantastic, or indeed awful. By understanding and drawing ourselves into the current moment we can change the way we think and feel.

Learn to pay attention to what exactly is happening!

 

 

Power of Now…

The Power Of Now (Eckhart Tolle) 
This was a specific book I read (Very deep!), the book itself was really heavy going (for an ordinary bloke like me!) it outlines the fundamental philosophy relating to Mindfulness. It is an interesting read, but is something you read a bit of,then  contemplate a lot ! I have heard of people hosting study groups using each chapter as a starting point. Not fantastically accessible, but there you go! To give you a flavour Eckhart Tolle can be heard via youtube. What is it like to truly be in the present moment? What matters most in life?

 

Eckhart Tolle

 

Contributions to sustainable Leadership;What is NLP?

Contributions to sustainable Leadership
What is NLP?

Do you ever wonder why when working with people they do the oddest things or why you get some people who are about as subtle  as a house brick? Do you meet people who appear oblivious to the concept of empathy? Do you wonder, why or how your colleagues stir up hornets’ nests of contempt/misunderstanding? NLP is for me, the study of people, what they do or say and how they interact.

My experience of: 
NLP stands for ‘Neuro Linguistic Programming ‘. Neuro stands for thinking/thought, Linguistic for language and Programming refers to the fact that in everyday life we fall into different patterns of thought and language i.e. we are programmed (by our own reactions and those of others) to think in specific ways. By recognising these communication patterns, both verbal and nonverbal and becoming aware, we can increase our ability to communicate with different people. We can also wrestle with and alter thought patterns that harm us personally. One colleague described it as ‘A toolkit for Leadership.’
I first came across NLP whilst helping a colleague, I was very sceptical and ‘put off ‘ by initial generalisations portrayed on Youtube and the mass media. Looking more closely whilst taking the NLP ‘Practitioners’ Course’ I began to realise that Richard Bandler and John Grinder had looked to collate the best practice i.e. most effective; as proven by success rates. The language patterns suggested work really well with people  as does the fact you analyse your own ‘map of the  world’ and learn how it is important understand the perceptions of others.
You realise that although we are social beings that both seek and need interaction to live a fulfilling life, we make many things up, assume mind reading abilities and live our own stories that often harm and upset both ourselves and potentially others.
The above is a brief resume, NLP qualifications appear to be expensive, but if you divide the price between the eight days it suggests, it is quite average with regards to associated charges. Does it make a difference? As with all things if you are prepared to listen, learn and consider, the impact could be life changing; it certainly created an absolute interest for me personally.
You will see correspondence courses (would do as well to buy a book) on offer via all kinds of media, I would however say that there is no substitute for a well trained consultant.
Wikipedia Says: 
Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is an approach to communication, personal development, and psychotherapy created by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in California, United States in the 1970s. NLP’s creators claim there is a connection between neurological processes (neuro-), language (linguistic) and behavioral patterns learned through experience (programming), and that these can be changed to achieve specific goals in life Bandler and Grinder also claim that NLP methodology can “model” the skills of exceptional people, allowing anyone to acquire those skills. They claim as well that, often in a single session, NLP can treat problems such as phobias, depression, tic disorders, psychosomatic illnesses, near-sightedness, allergy, common cold, and learning disorders.[7][8]
NLP has since been overwhelmingly discredited scientifically, but continues to be marketed by some hypnotherapists and by some companies that organize seminars and workshops on management training for businesses. There is no scientific evidence supporting the claims made by NLP advocates and it has been discredited as a pseudoscience by experts. Scientific reviews state that NLP is based on outdated metaphors of how the brain works that are inconsistent with current neurological theory and contain numerous factual errors. Reviews also found that all of the supportive research on NLP contained significant methodological flaws and that there were three times as many studies of a much higher quality that failed to reproduce the “extraordinary claims” made by Bandler, Grinder, and other NLP practitioners. Even so, NLP has been adopted by some hypnotherapists and also by companies that run seminars marketed as leadership training to businesses and government agencies.

 

Feeling FAB

In the beginning:

2005
I stood in the porch way of the house that me and my wife had worked so hard to afford. It was a rainy day in April. Out of nowhere tears began to roll down my face. I couldn’t look at my children, who sat in our car keen to go swimming. A feeling of dread came over me that was all consuming. I couldn’t understand why. My wife walked the ten feet from the car to ask what was wrong….. She assured me that everything would be ok, I looked at my lovely family, Sam and Leah laughing through the window ‘what’s wrong with daddy?’ The rain hid my tears, but not my thoughts. There and then I knew I had to start thinking differently…….. we went swimming.
Intro – What’s it all about?
I have always enjoyed learning  new things; the journey from that rainy Sunday has allowed me to look at life in a different way. I was lucky in that I had the support of my family. Since that day  I have sought to do my upmost to be the happiest I can be;  watching and learning from and through the actions and teaching of others, whether they be associates, friends or leading authors. The beauty of our modern day is that learning is so accessible you just need time and a place. Once you start looking, every encounter both personal and professional becomes an episode of discovery.
Mental health is fast becoming a societal obsession, we all have huge concerns regarding how modern life is having negative impact on both our children and each other.  How often though do we stop for just a minute and look for solutions?
I have learned a great deal since that dreary day during Easter 2005. I believe strongly in fate and recognition of significant others; this submission in part helps me both listen and learn.  I see unintentional personal damage being created through an obsession with materialistic clap trap / the need for ‘stuff’ and societal obsession with market forces. When we ignore the value of people and human interaction/thought people get damaged. I have seen many colleagues suffer as society becomes aware of rights, but does not understand the attached responsibilities. Media both controlled and freelance fuels the fire and yet can offer so much; you could even (without much added imagination) say that things are a bit of a mess!
I have changed, and will keep doing so. With a huge desire to treasure life and fantastic moments, I want to be the best I can be. I want to offer my learning to those who are ready to listen. I would hope to save people the angst and torment that modern day life delivers and show a way out…… nothing new, just a different approach; collecting the best solutions humanity currently offers, served up in a palatable bite size manner. This blog offers a starting point for fellow travelers.
If one person alone benefits from what I have to offer I will be adding something positive to the world.
A life changing thing for me was when a group of colleagues aimed to support an associate, it was at that point I began to identify my own undirected learning journey and how (as some colleagues often state) I learned to alter and lead in a very different way, you could say I am now; ‘adapted and still surviving, but taking nothing for granted’
It is my intention to use this blog to rationalise my thoughts, spill my frustrations a little and share my own learning which has continued and will continue to evolve. You could say that this blog will be ‘a review in a nutshell of the best thinking regarding how we can all enjoy life more’ but without the superfluous adages that either cost big money or are simply not needed.
Please feel free to suggest other directions I might look in. Some of our answers will be thousands of years old, others will be a new wheel or indeed a wheel reinvented.
Let’s start!